My name is Kate and I am a commuter.

I guess it's been a while. It's hard to try and write after such a successful last bog (I'm judging this solely on the two comments that I received about it).  So much has happened, yet as time drifts by, those stories seem to be quite insignificant now compared the more recent events.  I have started using that phrase 'Do you remember that time when...' , but I have been told repeatedly that that phrase can only be used after several months or even a year has passed.  But I suppose that's just how I feel- like I have lived here for a while now.  Like I actually live in Melbourne.  Like this city is actually mine.

I have also started to use the ever annoying phrase...'I feel a blog coming on'.  Yet, as ridiculous as this sounds, Adam has now started making mental noted of what I should write in this blog too.

I'm feeling under pressure.  Here goes...

The next time after my second blog post that I had the urge to write something was when some comic had changed an electronic road sign.  It was one of those 'did you see that moments?'.  And if you hadn't seen it, you need not worry as the tram driving then decided to announce it over the tannoy system anyway:

" Ladies and Gentlemen, that road sign does in fact read 'EAT MY PUSS'.  I hope you guys all know what PUSS is."

And so that sparked my first mental blog note:

 

1-  Melbourne tram drivers are on another planet.

I heard one once saying (over the tannoy system) that he was going to mount the curb and and send any ACDC fans to an early grave so that they can meet ACDC.  One tram driver also told us not to tell any of the other tram drivers how crazy he is- but that was the first thing he had said. 

This madness also rubs off on the passengers.  I don't think it has hit us yet though....

The other mental blog notes are as follows:

2. AFL (Oz 'football') fans only wear their teams colours on the day of the match. 

Then they not only wear the vest (Yes, vest. Not shirt), but also the hat, the socks, the shorts and the scarf- in 35 degree heat. And they carry the flag. This includes men, women and children.  As Melbourne is the heart of AFL, then on match days almost everyone is draped in supportive clobber. 73,000 to the first match of the season.

I went on a run with my friend and he wore a AFL vest.  Had I know what I know now, I would have warned him against this.  He must have thrown the city into mass confusions...surely there must be a match if a fan is wearing their teams colours?!  I would not have been in the least bit surprised if this made headline news on the 10 news at 6.

Which brings me perfectly into my next point:

3.  The Australians have no news to report what-so-ever.

They steel the BBC commentators, despite hating us, and slating us and thinking we are a cold and miserable version of here- they still use our BBC reporters to report on both sport and world news.

The Tamworth Herald once ran a headline on a dog that wore lipstick.  Tamworth is a small town in the Midlands.  If a dog wore lipstick here, all programmes would grind to a hold and the Australian news would probably pay the BBC to report on it immediately,  interrupting all television shows (Heartbeat, The Antiques Road Show and Top Gear for example.)

3b.  1st, 2nd, 3rd,4th....you get the drift?

When we say a date (by 'we' I mean the inhabitants of the Great British Soil), we say the 1st of January, or the 3rd of March. We DO NOT, and nor should any other English speaking country, say February 1. Or March 3.  Yes, like 'Out March one'.  or 'Buy in stores April twenty.'

It's funny how small things can really get to you....

I know this blog was originally started to tell people at home what an amazing time I am having, and I truly am, but it is so hard to not rant on this. I love using it to vent.

Adam tells me that I have to write positive things on here. Like what a phenomenal city Melbourne is and how I am such a great boss (ok, he didn't tell me to write that, but I know he thinks it! Oh- do you all know that I'm Adams boss? I got him a job in my office, telling my boss 'of course Adam is great on computers, I wouldn't recommend him other wise would i?'  Oh, and I also told my boss 'If you think he is rubbish, sack him.  I don't mind. It's just business isn't it?!' I'm not sure I ever told Adam that bit!!).

I also don't want to come across like I think England is so much better (we produce our own television programmes and have Salad Cream though).  Think of it this way: if Australia doesn't have any news to report, then imagine watching a news programme that isn't riddled with knife crime, child obesity and the threat of terrorism.  It is quite pleasant let me tell you!!

The sun shines. I wake up to a full sun rising in the distance, just past the botanical gardens, behind the Australian 'Alps'.  The sky is also full of hot air balloons at around 7am.  At night, I can see the moon from the sofa.  I can see it right now. Full, in the clear sky. The food is fresh, the beer is cold and there is food from every continent.  Adam and I ate an Afgan meal yesterday.  Don't worry, I checked Asama Bin Laden wasn't hiding under my kebab (I grew up watching Crimewatch- it was my public duty.)

There are free events most weekend.  We watched a comedian on Friday night, and we watched one the week previously after being given free tickets. They were free for a reason.  We ended up wearing diving goggles and a shoebox on our faces.  Shoeboxes you ask?  Yes, shoesboxes with fairly lights and little cut out people dancing in the shoebox disco.

We saw parrots randomly in the street on the way back from the beach. Do I need to say more about that?

We commute to work everyday, walking past the botanical gardens, along the river and quickly weaving through the other commuters in the underpass to the city.

I am in love with this city.  With the news programmes that reports good news such as 'it is going to rain'.                                    
                                                        

Carlton v Richmond